Updated: Oct 25
I had spent over 12 years seeking healing through modern medicine. One year my body was experiencing a headache that would not go away. It ranged from a pain scale of 2-9, and no over the counter medication or prescription was helping. I recall time standing still for a few days as I waited for the results of an MRI. As with other health issues, the results came back as normal. Finally, after over 30 days of headache, while having a girls' board game night, a friend recommended acupuncture. Without knowing at the time, I began a health journey committing to various modalities of healing until I found a solution for optimal health.
Although the acupuncture helped relieve the migraines, I found myself still experiencing extreme fatigue. I then tried functional medicine. I chose functional medicine because I was drawn to its philosophy of discovering the root cause of illness versus treating symptoms with medication. What I did not know during this 2-year commitment, was the people I would meet that would introduce me to ways they healed.
THE PEOPLE I MET AND THEIR VARIOUS HEALING STORIES
I met a woman whose stomach was so dysfunctional, she was going to have stomach replacement surgery (I didn't even know that was a thing). Before the surgery was to occur, she started taking aloe vera pills, and it repaired her stomach so significantly that the last test before surgery, the doctors decided to postpone the surgery. She continued taking the aloe vera pills and they healed her! I tried the same pills, but my body did not respond well to them. I didn't even finish the first bottle.
I then met a woman who healed from a supplement her essential oils company created. It had Melissa and microgreens that cured her of chronic fatigue, heavy head, IBS, and an overall lack of motivation. I can not recall how I met her, but I did go to her home to enroll in essential oils and, especially, to order the supplement. Again, my body did not respond well to the supplement. Another closed door.
In the meantime, I was still seeing my functional medicine doctor. I was on a diet that consisted of fruits, vegetables (with the exception of those that had lectins, such as peppers, tomatoes, and eggplant), chicken, fish (not shellfish), and coconut milk. No dairy. No red meat. No caffeine. No processed foods. No nuts. No seeds. No soy. No grains. No added sugar. I was committed.
Among the protocol with the functional medicine doctor was to see a massage therapist once a week. My muscles, despite even seeing her over a year, were like rocks on my shoulders and ropes along my spine. She was an amazing masseuse, but my body, every week, returned with the same tension.
One day, while I was in the waiting room for a massage, at a rescheduled time, I met a woman who's daughter was getting a massage. This woman said that remote energy medicine healed her daughter from such extreme IBS that she was skin on bones. She showed me pictures. She said, "What have you got to lose, it may help you too."
MY BELIEFS CHALLENGED
Now before you close this blog post because I've mentioned energy medicine (and it's not your thing) and (if it's your thing) before you decide energy medicine is your answer, there is another part of this story that was the true healing I received. One that makes the nonenergy healing believers see truth and the energy healing believers receive their own power back.
You see, the energy worker I saw, did work on me, over the phone for 7-20 minutes at a time once a week. Her modality of healing showed evidence of working within 3 short weeks. I knew, from my restricted diet, that if I ate honey, I'd be doubled over in pain. When she treated me for sugars, including honey, that week I could eat honey with no pain. This became a 2 1/2 year journey of treating one thing at a time, each treatment having "detox symptoms," yet opening my world to more foods to eat, increased vitality, and freedom.
However, all along I felt something was missing. I realize I couldn't ever really be healed because I was dependant on the energy worker, desperate for her work to help me. Every week presented yet something else to treat. I also wanted to know, "How did this work?" It had me question my beliefs on how to heal, what we are capable of in healing, what personal energy is, and shifted my perspective of reality. In addition, at this time, I was in life coaching school. I deeply knew that I could not help others as a life coach if I depended on another for my own wellbeing.
HERE ENTER THE CRUX OF MY HEALING
I began to learn that healing was not only about treating my physical body, but also about addressing my mental, emotional, and spiritual body. Though at the time I didn't know it, I was already learning this shortly after hiring the energy worker. Over time, I came to understand that physical illness is tied to unhealed emotional pain or misdirected mental energy. It is tied to a disconnection from the spiritual self, the knowing of our True Self.
My ventures were breaking down belief systems I had about faith, medicine, and reality. I journaled about it and spoke to no one for quite some time, for fear of being called crazy. Yet, innately I knew I needed to talk about it. I then allowed myself to share with my (then fiancee) husband, my parents, some friends. I took classes to become a Reiki master. I did inner child work, sound healing, meditated daily, and joined meetups who spoke on the topic. I tried different modalities of healing like Donna Eden Energies, Biomagnetic therapy, EFT & Hypnosis (of which I learned I was doing self-hypnosis all along).
What I learned from the people I met, both practitioners and clients of these practitioners, is this: All the western medicine or energy medicine will not help us unless they also address 1 crucial thing, our mindscape. If we do not change how we think and believe, we will continue to think, feel, and act as we already do, recreating the reality we already experience.
Even if a person were to heal from one ailment, if the mindscape had not changed, another part of life will fill that void.
This is what happens to lottery ticket winners who either lose their wealth shortly thereafter or seem to still have unhappiness despite the win. This is what happens when we think getting married will make us secure and happy, just to find equal or increased amounts of insecurity and loneliness after marriage. This is what happens when a couple thinks having a baby will solve their problems, yet it seemed to only compound them.
This is what lead me to my physical healing from IBS and chronic fatigue. This is what lead to my way of being as an evolving person who knows she's always in a state of growth, even when growth appears to be nonmoving while integrating and reflecting. This is what lead to me incorporating mind, body, and soul in my personal and professional life.
My journey started as a healing journey, little did I know it was the journey to discovering my True Self and connecting to my True Nature. I began to identify as a spirit with a human experience and a human with a spiritual experience. The practice of mindfulness led to a new way of being, where my perspective of the world was one of Higher Self looking in, a calmed, objective inner peace. I practiced being more and more nonjudgemental of self and others. And with time, nonjudgement has become more of a feeling than a concept.
WHEN I FINALLY HEALED: MY GREATEST INSIGHT
I recall the first time I didn't need a nap and realized it at 4 pm. I stood in front of our home office talking to my husband. I remember like yesterday the instant flash of insight and saying, "Huney, I didn't need a nap today. I didn't even THINK today that I may need a nap! And I feel fine right now! At 4pm!" As I celebrated I also had a feeling of fear rush up in my body with a new thought, "When will I experience this again?" It took a while, but gradually, I found the need to nap less and even stopped planning for them.
One day I was having a conversation with my biomagnetic therapist. I was sharing the need to nap less and asked, "When will I be fully healthy?" Just then, I had another flash of insight that washed over my entire body. I realized, "Even healthy people nap. As a matter of fact, even well-known people were known for napping." That moment, as if Truth resonating in every cell in my body, I knew I was fully healed. My body was no longer on the journey of health, and my soul was now aware of her journey of self-discovery in life.